"If you need to make it into a costume night, more power to you. “When did becoming an adult mean we had to be perfect with everything we do?” Tran asks. You may even find yourself laughing through technical issues together, but laughter is a part of intimacy, too. What’s most important is that you have fun with it and don’t take yourself or your partner too seriously-embrace what brings you connection and pleasure. You can talk about what worked, what didn’t, and what you want to try out the next time. Consider it a debriefing after your-well, de-briefing. The conversation doesn’t end after you sign off, though, and it can be helpful to talk with your partner about the experience, especially if it was your first time trying virtual sex together.
“Whether you are virtually intimate with a partner or a stranger…even ‘hook-ups’ require boundaries and consent.”
For example, “I know you said you’re comfortable sending nudes, but we’ve never done this before, so I want to confirm again that this feels okay for you.”īoundaries and consent should be ongoing and evergreen, Tran explains. Like with any sexual experience, it’s necessary to have and give consent for every step-and ask for it twice. You can also create a list of virtual intimacy acts together and categorize them by yes, maybe, and no, says Tran. “Mindfulness is putting one’s head and body in the same place in time, instead of having your body doing one thing like masturbating in front of your partner via a computer and your head in another space,” explains Dr. Try and prioritize activities that keep you in the present moment, similar to when having mindful sex. Just as we can advocate for our sexual wants and needs in the bedroom, we can also discuss how to meet these desires despite physical distance. Are you interested in trying?”Īsk your partner what they’d be interested in exploring, and then share what you’re eager to try (e.g., phone sex while masturbating together, striptease via webcam, etc.). You could try this script she suggests: “I was reading about virtual intimacy-in other words, getting it on across the computer screen, maybe even using toys that can be remotely controlled on one another via the internet. Mintz recommends introducing a conversation about virtual sex with “I” statements. While it may feel intimidating to bring up with a partner, Dr. “For long distance relationships, virtual intimacy helps keep the sexual and emotional connection going,” she says. Laurie Mintz, professor at the University of Florida and the author of Becoming Cliterate. It can also lead to greater sexual satisfaction, according to Dr. Virtual intimacy can be a great playtime that relieves your stress.” “Virtual intimacy allows us to be creative, curious and connect with our partner,” says Sherry Tran, a Wellness Coach at Lora DiCarlo.
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